28. Dental Health

I need to have two wisdom teeth out. It’s not my fault. They just sit at the back of my mouth, not growing properly. Eventually they’ll go bad. I have to get rid of them. I was travelling basically constantly last year and it made it impossible to get them sorted. I did have a useful dentists appointment though – it made it clear that there is something I can do, if only to get them pulled. I tend to be fatalistic about health – that things I do to help myself will ultimately have no impact. I don’t know why that is. Maybe because I’ve got a lot of bad advice?

Mental health is an area people freely dispense bad advice in. Just cheer up! Get some exercises and drink a fruit drink and your bad times will fall away! Have you considered this herbal supplement? Visualise a bright, abundant meadow. People with much more severe challenges than I do get much worse advice than this from people with zero experience and no qualification. So I started wondering what it would look like if strangers started giving unsolicited and uninformed dental health advice. See what I did there? Change a single letter, and uninformed, unsolicited advice promising incredible restorative effects becomes obviously ridiculous to everyone. Drink a glass of piss every day! It will straighten your crooked canine. Rub grapes into the gum where a tooth was extracted, and the tooth will grow back! And so on.

Lyrically, the song forms a sort of an acrostic – the first word of each line from the first and second verse and chorus form the final verse. There’s not much to say about that except I find the final verse exceptionally satisfying:

Every time you promise
I do not believe
Your teeth grew back

I don’t think that
This helped one person
My mind came back

I wrote this using a music coding language called IXI lang – I’ll explain next week a bit more about what that is, but in the meantime I want to thank Emma Winston (aka Deerful), who helped me to learn the language, and inspired me to do it in the first place. Her music is great, download it immediately (after you’ve pre-ordered mine, obviously).

Next week, I make a song out of the first 700-something digits of Pi – until then, you can read about all the songs from Year of The Bird here, and pre-order the album here: https://palebird.bandcamp.com/album/year-of-the-bird-volume-3